Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize