it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
