He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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