I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
bring money and cleavage
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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