I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Be still, my beating vagina.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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