we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
