I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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