how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
