We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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