went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he was CRYING into my vagina
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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