So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
