everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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