Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he puts the penis in happiness.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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