I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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