i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Drake has all the answers
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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