Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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