His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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