i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
