its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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