Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
