Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
