he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
