Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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