she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
