Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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