You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
