we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
