i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Mom said you looked used
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
