This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
