ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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