True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
