Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
