So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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