I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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