Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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