He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
