Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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