I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize