if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
