Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
