I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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