I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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