and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
