His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
