$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
