hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
do herpes really smell.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
