We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
