i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
