i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
