It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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