there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
