I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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