Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
do herpes really smell.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
