so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
