the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize