Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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