allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
