i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize