I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
