You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
