lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Watching her eat just hurts me
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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