Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
