are you still at the devil's house?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
