I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
