Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
