If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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