I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
