but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
