if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
