ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
