I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize