i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Rumble strips road head = magical
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
